xquisitlife

I’d love to know your thoughts about your own experiences on giving birth, or the miracle of life within your own life! Please leave a comment, or your story here or at Xquisitlife’s new site under blog posts! Have an Xquisit and Fabulous day and I send my love to you on this gorgeous winter day!

Just a reminder about some new things you need to see on Xquisitlife.com ! Don’t forget to sign up for my email postings under the email button on the right side of the page today…many are in the race for the prize, but will you be one of them? The games have begun! Remember to refer as many people as you know and once they sign up, you are that much closer to winning! Plus, don’t forget about your special FREE gift that I am going to send you just for entering your email! Have a fabulous day, and don’t forget to check out my newest line of champion clothing on the site for Men and Women! I have hand selected the coolest fashions by Champion that you can’t find in the stores! With Valentine’s Day approaching, please click the perfume button right above my blog post there to get your sweetie his or her favorite cologne or perfume for loads off the retail price! You won’t be sorry! Please comment about your thoughts on the clothes and perfumes! I love knowing what you think!PS- Don’t forget to click my picture when you are finished reading!

Now on to today’s thoughts about the miracle of life!

As a woman, there is usually nothing more exciting than the expectation of the day you will deliver your new born baby. From the moment you hear those precious words “I’m Pregnant” you realize that the gift of life is now growing in your belly and you eagerly wait, watching your belly grow, cravings come, and moods change! I have to say that with each baby I have been blessed to deliver, it was like being pregnant for the first time all over again. You learn so many things with each new pregnancy! Ultimately you find yourself working to stockpile these new pieces of information within your memory as the day approaches when you will deliver your beautiful creation into this new world!

This is all that I could think of as the nurses whisked me away down a long corridor to the operating room! But I wasn’t being wheeled away to have a C section, I had just delivered my 4th baby and I was bleeding to death! It was the year that all of the nurses were on strike and all of the nurses were from various parts of the country. Few were even from here. Nobody knew where anything was, they were all unfamiliar with everything, and so they had trouble finding the operating room. On the way there, it was like each of my previous deliveries flashed quickly through my mind. Why couldn’t this one be like those? Granted with each delivery they each got easier, but this one was working to take my life and leave my precious children and newborn baby motherless.

Tears streamed down my face as I remembered with my first son how labor had taken 39 1/2 hours for him to finally make his appearance. Pushing for 40 minutes because I didn’t have the urge to push from the epidural seemed ridiculous, but it worked wonders for the pain!

With my second baby, my daughter, my angel, true labor was about 2 hours long and that was the first time I found that incredible urge to push! WOW, that is forever etched within my heart and mind. Something you work so hard to control, but ultimately it battles to control you~ and the race is on! I was about 3 weeks early with her and they broke my water because the contractions weren’t dilating me any further. Then they started pitocin to induce the whopping contractions that came so hard and so fast that when the doctor walked in, he didn’t quite get the scrubs on all the way, and in less than 3 pushes, my gorgeous and perfect daughter arrived and was placed upon my deflated belly.

Then there was my third baby, my second son. He wasn’t scheduled to arrive for yet another 3 weeks but just like my daughter, he had other ideas. Nearly the exact same scenario happened with this baby as with my daughter. They broke my water, induced pitocin, and attempted to give me an epidural. The lady didn’t give it to me right and the medicine made my head feel like it was in a vise and having its own contraction! Needless to say, I would deliver him without pain relief~ Au natural! My baby was coming to quickly, and I had only been in labor for and hour and 20 minutes. My doctor was out of the country, the doc on call was not close enough, and so with a 3rd attempt at getting the doctor to the hospital, they found one shopping at the mall next to the hospital, and he rushed in to deliver my 3rd little bundle of joy!

Now with my 4th baby, I had a tough pregnancy. I nearly lost her when I was 3 months pregnant. There was gushing blood like a fountain, and I prayed all the way to the hospital for God to save my baby. I expected to hear the worst when they did the ultrasound, but she was fine, and I was hemorrhaging, but if they placed me on bed rest, then it may allow the pregnancy to heal in that place from which I was bleeding.

Well, that hemorrhage finally stopped, and was healing up behind the placenta so that the flow of blood was blocked. She grew normally, and I loved being pregnant and dressing in trendy, stylish maternity clothes from A pea in the pod! Throughout my pregnancy, baby wanted to start coming early. I spent lots of time in bed, and about 6 weeks before my delivery date, she decided to give us all a scare. I raced to the hospital for them to stop my labor, and they gave me a shot for my babies lungs so that if she were born that early, she would have had a protective coating on her lungs to help her survive.

All quieted down for about 2 more weeks, and then the contractions started coming all over again. With that many false alarms you begin to get desensitized to the urgency of going to the hospital for fear that they will just send you home again! So I stuck it out through the night with these horrible pains rippling their way from side to side throughout my belly. The next day, going on barely any sleep I was still having steady contractions. Tired, crabby, and a little frustrated that even with medicine the contractions were not decreasing, I finally called the doctor later in the day, right around dinner time.

They said once again to get into the hospital, and so I spent a little time with my other children to explain that I was going to the hospital and I would maybe be having their baby brother or sister today. I drove to the hospital alone so my husband could watch the kids in case I would just come home again. We did get a babysitter to wait on standby in case I really was in labor and going to have baby that day.

They timed my contractions once I got to the hospital and I was only dilated to 3. So I began to walk the halls in hopes that it would speed up the contractions and the process. No such luck. I was a month early at this point and the doctor had to decide if he was ok with breaking my water to deliver my baby. I was exhausted from trips to the hospital, medicine to stop labor and waiting for my precious angel to arrive. So he made an executive decision to break my water and let me have baby today!

I called my husband and told him he needed to get to the hospital and that we would be having our baby. Then the doctor came in to break my water~ and the waiting game would begin. I sat there thinking that I may never know what it is like to have your water break on its own and with that my husband walked into the room. Then once my water was broken, my contractions totally stopped! That’s when they quickly decided that they would start pitocin to make the contractions start up again. Not my favorite choice, but now that my water was broken, they had to help me get active labor going again.

It was a little after 9 pm when they broke my water and then they started the pitocin at about 9:20. There is no happy medium with that stuff- for me at least. I had one minor contraction that was slightly uncomfortable, then the second contraction was a whopper! Totally took my breath away and I couldn’t even talk or get sound out except to whimper as the tears flowed down my cheeks and dripped onto the pillow. It was now about 9:35 or so and there was a few minutes in-between that contraction and the next, but already I had dilated to 8 with only 2 contractions on the pitocin. There was no time to give me any pain medicine or an epidural so it looked like I was going to have another baby Au Natural! Unbelievable!

Then the 3rd contraction came and I nearly came unglued and with it came that awful urge to push and I couldn’t stop it. I tried my breathing exercises and everything, but I couldn’t breathe through this one! Then I felt my baby crowning already, and the end of the bed hadn’t even been taken off yet. It hurt so badly that I physically took my hand and tried to push the baby back inside of me!

The nurses couldn’t find my doctor because they didn’t page him right and later found out he was in the lounge waiting for me to dilate. Well, with all the commotion and baby coming out right then, they grabbed another doctor from the hallway to give me an episiotomy quickly, and as he did that I didn’t even have to push again because my baby came flying out with such force that she landed on the end of the bed and nobody caught her! If that end of the bed hadn’t been on, she would have landed on the floor and been hurt. Luckily, she was fine!

They put her onto my chest and I didn’t know if it was a boy or a girl so I was crying and sobbing and in between breaths, I was finally able to get out the words to ask what I had. They told me I had a girl and she was perfect. She had a perfectly round head because she wasn’t crowned for more than a few seconds, and she was beautiful!

That is when my doctor surfaced, to finish off the delivery. About 5 minutes went by and he was ready to leave the room and let the nurses do their job when the nurse ran into the hallway to call the doctor back to tell him that the bleeding wasn’t stopping. I later learned that you can bleed to death in only a few minutes after delivering a baby if there are complications. So they needed to work fast.

They swept my little angel right off of my chest and whisked me out the door to head for emergency surgery. I began to pray and repent for my sins because I knew that if I was about to die, that I needed to be sure I was ready to face my maker with a clean heart. At that moment, I knew more than in any other moment of my life, that I was ready to go if that was God’s plan for me. And just like that, all of this that I have shared with you, came flooding through my mind and heart. I said one last prayer for my family and asked that God would let them know me, remember me, and know Him if it was my time to go.

As we got into surgery, the doctor was there and before they even got the cart totally stopped, they were giving me the medicine to go to sleep. As I drifted off to sleep I heard the doctor reprimanding the staff of nurses because they didn’t know where anything was and this was a life or death situation. And with that, everything went dark.

It was 11:00 or so that night when I groggily began to open my eyes from surgery. Everything was hazy and the pain excruciating! They told me that they didn’t know where the bleeding was coming from and that they weren’t sure if I would make it through the night. I had a blood transfusion, and played the waiting game to see if I would live to see my newest gift~ my baby. They thought I may need surgery again to do an emergency hysterectomy if they couldn’t get the bleeding to stop. They moved me onto a super cozy bed in recovery, and kept me there for the remainder of the night. I had more medicine that put me to sleep and when I awoke at about 6 the next morning, I was being moved to a room on the maternity ward. I was alive! I was that much closer to holding my baby again.

The bleeding continually decreased and the medicines that they gave me worked to keep my comfy. Then the moment arrived that I would hold and see my precious baby girl again. As they handed her to me all swaddled in a blanket, I wept tears of joy. She was so tiny. When she was born she was 5 pounds 6 ounces, but when we left the hospital a few days later, she was only 4 pounds and 14 ounces! I knew that I was given a second chance to journey this life through with my newest angel, and that she would have the chance to know me, and love me! That was the greatest gift I have ever received, and today Ava is nearly 8 and strong, smart, and as gorgeous as ever!

Have a fabulous day and don’t forget to leave your thoughts!

Love to you all!

 

Many artists speak of their anger, frustration and pain about being an artist. Their sense of self worth can diminish, and that can affect work, life, and relationships with others. Many times artists question whether or not to continue as an artist, but the reality is that if you give up after all that you have learned in creating the pieces that you have, you will never be more than where you are right now. You will never truly know the possibilities of what could have been if you had only known the right avenues to proceed with your art!Maybe you have tried to do exhibits with little to no success. Doing things only this way can produce a number of realizations that could potentially change your whole life.

When you are dealing with a work of art that you have created, you open yourself up to either facing acceptance or rejection. You become completely vulnerable because you are dealing with someone’s choice and their personal taste and opinion regarding the piece of art that you have created and poured all of your passionate heart into.

There are certain things that you must do as an artist if you want to be a success, and let me remind you that what you consider to be success will always be different from what another person declares success to be. Success must first begin with a decision that we are going to be successful!

Remember that success is not an accident when it comes, but it is the result of specific, measurable actions that you have taken to propel yourself forward! Never let ANYONE tell you that you can’t do something.

Just relax and remind yourself that inability has more to do with attitude. Keep your head up, believe in yourself, and don’t move away from your plan. Attitude determines your approach and your approach determines your successes or failures! Remember that the right attitude will usually supersede your level of ability and take you beyond your present level and into a realm where dreams come true. Attitude is everything!

 

Always remember that there has to be an audience for your work and realize that you just haven’t found it yet. The best way to find that audience is by the process of elimination. Begin to research the galleries in the area that you live within. Once you find galleries that you think would be interested in your work, you can begin to send them copies of your portfolio on cd-rom’s. Sending out your portfolio is a much more effective way to getting your work seen. Don’t be fearful of the rejection letters that may follow! Use them as motivation to propel you forward into discovering more creative ways of getting your work seen in the local market!

While attempting to get your work seen locally, expand your promotion throughout the state that you live in, and then nationally. The beauty of this is that  there may not be many people or galleries that value your work locally, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder! Many larger cities have a wider variety of people to market to. Thus giving you a greater chance to be seen!

Do the same thing with other cities that you have spent time working on locally. Never stop researching! Research is very time consuming and can take a long time to complete but continue to send out your cd’s while doing your research. Send out as many as you can afford.

You will learn that by submitting your work to galleries, shows, group shows, flea markets, traveling art shows etc. that your chances of getting seen are greater and you could essentially be able to make a living as an artist from these various efforts.

The reality of this is that it’s a lot of hard work. You will encounter such things as self-doubt, face the anxiety of an inconsistent income over and over again, possibly deal with depression, but you have to decide if you would have it any other way because you are actually doing what you are passionate about and want to do in your life with the gifts that God gave you to create with. This is the first thing that you have to do. Decide what you want to do, make a plan, and then do it no matter how you feel, or who says it can’t be done the way you see it!

The first thing to do is to realize that the way our lives are right now are a result of the choices that we made yesterday. It is our choice to be an artist, to be angry, or to get frustrated. Ultimately, we choose to let that rejection letter discourage us. You can prove everybody wrong and live from your work, but you have to believe in yourself and you have to believe that it can be done. If you can’t see it before it ever comes to fruition the chances of stumbling or falling when it gets really tough is great! But if you believe in yourself, there is absolutely nothing can stop you but you!

Figure out what you want. Do you really want to be rich and famous or do you just want to make a living as an artist? Do you want both? Are you good enough to be both? Do you want to make great masterpieces that everybody wants when they see them, or do you just want to be the best you can be and learn who you are in the process?

Once you have figured out what you want, you have to make a plan on how to get there. Set goals, and then draw up your business plan. Once you step outside your art studio it is all business! But you are creative and so this is where you will develop your “edge” above the rest!

If you find yourself in the position of a full-time artist, you will see that 50-75% of your time will be spent managing your business of being an artist. Take responsibility for your life, develop a business plan, and follow through with it no matter how discouraged you may become. Take all of the things that are negative in your life and try to find the positive in them. Negative situations will keep you from achieving what you want to do. Rejection letters show that you successful so why are afraid? Statistically, the more rejection you get, the closer you actually are to getting your acceptance letter! It statistically takes 7 No’s to get 1 Yes! So you have to find in yourself the will to move forward no matter what. As artists, it’s no secret that we are creative people. Use that concept always to your advantage in everything you do, think, say, and create!

Find your own way. Be a leader in your market and not a follower. You might love Monet or Van Gogh, but let your passion lead the way with your heart. Don’t try to copy someone else, or that takes all originality and “You” out of what you are creating!

If you have set goals for yourself you need to ask if they are they the right goals? Do not set unrealistic goals that you do not have control over. If you would like to have 10 shows this year, send out 100 portfolio packets, and this will increase the probability that those shows will happen for you within that year!

So here you are. You are an artist. Do what needs to be done! First and foremost, you have to be honest with yourself! Are you an artist? No one else can decide this for you. Is the work that you do come from the depths of who you are? If it does not then you need to give yourself some time to work that out. You don’t want your work to be more about your desire to make a living from art than it is about the integrity of who you are.

Always remember, that you will need to make many compromises to be a full-time artist, but never compromise your work. Since artwork is the kind of product that is valued subjectively, a limited-edition print from someone nobody’s ever heard of is worth very little. The problem artist’s face is a problem of supply and demand. Because their dreams are so common, they are competing against many thousands of capable and creative people whose mission is the same. And mind you that they are not just inexperienced amateurs, but people who may have many more years of experience than you do.

Unfortunately, the people who can truly appreciate passionate art are few. To accomplish your goals, you will have to find the most inexpensive, and effective way to sell your work to the public. So simply begin in the community of which you live.

The typical art buyer buys pretty things to hang on the wall. Many are people who make purchases when on vacation. They are out looking for something neat or unusual that they couldn’t find near the area in which they live. Most of the time, they don’t know anything about signed limited editions,  and they wouldn’t care even if they knew what they were.

The bottom line is however good your art may be, it has little or no commercial value without a value being established which usually comes through an art broker. Commercial value for commodity art is created almost entirely by an art broker because they can create that value, and recreate it over and over again. Thus, developing your art into a “brand.”

If you are an artist and are thinking of having other people sell your art, you must be willing to pay what they, not you, think is a reasonable commission. If they are doing all of the work, it would be entirely reasonable to pay them an 80% commission and you the artist would only be getting a 20 % commission on a piece you poured all of your heart and soul into.

After all, they are responsible for getting your work seen and brokered out to the public. They should be paid a higher commission for that work, resources, and their connections. The question you must ask yourself is whether or not you can live with that?

You can visit every retail vendor of whatever kind of art it is that you are creating and try to make a 20 % deal, but this is a very expensive and very unlikely method. You can become your own broker and market your art locally and/or through the Internet. Ebay is a fabulous tool, but don’t allow it to be your only way of doing things because then it can become your crutch, and if that “crutch” is removed at some point, you can fail and fall flat on your face because you didn’t have other venues in which to get your work seen!

Locally, you can sell your work at flea markets and traveling art shows. You won’t make a lot of money doing that at first, but you will make some, and it will be easy to develop a mailing list of customers who should be happy to buy from you on an ongoing basis. If you keep at it for a few years and procure a few thousand first-time buyers, you could easily be making $50,000 or more a year by intelligently and persistently marketing to them.

Selling someone at a flea market or art show is a considerable accomplishment. It takes personal interaction and a high level of interest on the customer’s part. Turning that kind of a buyer into a long-term customer would be relatively easy.

Besides direct selling, you could get into direct-response marketing by setting up an Internet business to sell your art. Here are some simple steps to begin to make that happen right now for you!

1. You should set up a website, but keep it simple and not spend too much time and money on it. There are many places to set up free web hosting. Google it or go to www.000webhost.com
2. Invest the majority of marketing time in going out to other websites and e-mail lists and promoting your name and artwork.
3. Promote your name first by teaching people about art and how to appreciate it, what separates good art from undesirable art and exactly how to interpret what you are looking at. Each person will interpret each piece differently because beauty is in the eye of the beholder concerning art.
4. There are plenty of places where you can write articles and give advice for free. You should encourage people to respond to your articles, and then add their names to your mailing list.
5. Create two e-mail services: one that teaches people how to appreciate art, using your own artwork, and another that goes directly to people who have purchased or expressed interest in your own personal work. In this second service, you would talk about your art, the projects you are working on, and your next limited editions.

You might think this kind of work is boring, arduous, or too commercial. A lot of artists feel that way. They would rather be creating than marketing. They are willing to place great value on the work they do in creating the art, but they place very little value on the work brokers do, which is where commercial value is created for their work.

In reality, the broker is an artist as much as is the producer of the artwork. Your art is just as much about transformation, and imagination. The only real difference between the two is the end result. The artists goal is to create a material object. Unfortunately, that creation has no commercial value until it becomes a brand. The broker seeks to take something that has no commercial value and transform it into a work of art that does!

You actually have the unprecedented opportunity to become twice the artist you already are. First, by creating and making your art, and secondly, by selling it and creating your name into a brand! It is time to begin spreading the word about your art. What are the best ways to do this if you don’t have a direction to go? You have fabulous pieces of art, but right now you, and family or friends are the only one admiring them at a close distance. So what to do?

Step One: Business Cards

Before you say having business cards is a given, there are some things you should know.

First, you should have cards that stand out and attract attention. Use an image of your art on the card. A good place to get affordable, professional business cards is vistaprint.com. You can get all kinds of nice promotional items for your art at this website. Highly creative professionals use Vista Print.com

Secondly, don’t forget to put your online portfolio address and email addresses on the cards. This way people not only have that nice image of your painting on the card, they also have a way to view your portfolio, recent creations, and a way to contact you.

Thirdly and most simply, once you have your cards, use them!

1. Whenever you mention being an artist, slip that person a card.
2. Whenever you sell a piece, give the buyer a card.
3. Leave a card with your tip.
4. Put a card in the frame of all your works so that others will know who created it.
5. Give many cards to family and friends so they can give them out to people they know. Branch out and use your immediate resources to get other people spreading the word for you!

Step Two: Internet Networking

Networking is easy when you do it on the internet. The easiest ways that I have found are:

1. Make your email signature your name and link to your portfolio

2.        Join business forums and groups on the web. Meet others, ask questions, and make friends. Remember to make your post signature like your email’s, and leave a copy of your website there too!

1. Join artist’s groups. Learn where you can advertise your art, and find artist job boards.
2. Write! Write articles about how you create your art, or just art in general. If you are not a good writer, then seek one on the Internet possibly under Craigslist or any other popular websites. Call colleges to see if they have any students willing to “intern” and write for you for free basically for the practice! Then post your articles on a blog or free article service along with your biography and a link to your amazing portfolio.

Step Three: Shows and Contests

The easiest way to get your art seen by the most people locally is by entering an art show or competition. Your town, no matter how small, should have some kind of art show, craft show, or art contest for local artists. Contact your chamber of commerce to find out more information. Find out about all the nearby towns’ events as well. By entering local shows, or group shows, in nearby towns or cities, you will create a name for yourself and begin to create your own “presence” within the local community!

If you are an artist, you know very well that creating your art is only the first step. Once you have completed a piece, the next step is to put it up for sale. You have worked very hard to create your piece, and put your heart and soul into it. Now you have to go from artist to salesperson, and ultimately become a businessperson. For who knows every inch and detail of your artwork more than you do? Who could describe passionately everything that was poured into that particular piece than you can? The answer is easy! Nobody but you can do what you can~ Not the way you can do it!

Artists are usually not trained in selling, so we end up learning to sell our work on our own and from others. Selling art is not easy, because of the extreme competition, but there are many ways to sell that I have listed for you within this article. Galleries, shows, and online are just a few ways to get your work out there.

Most shows are free to enter or require a nominal entry fee. Aside from winning money, most events allow browsers to buy the art they like. The show or contest usually will take a small cut of the profits you make by selling a piece, but you don’t have to sell your piece at that time if you don’t so choose. Take the interested buyers name, address, and the piece they are interested in and then send them more about it after the show along with similar pieces within the same color schemes as the one they were interested in. Kind of like the concept of knock off colognes, if you love eternity you’ll love this one too!

There are plenty of ways to get your work seen by those who want fabulous art. It takes passion, and persistence, but if you want something badly enough, you can succeed! Remember that you are the only one who can make something happen for yourself, and it will be up to your determination, attitude, and perseverance if and when you will get where you want to go. Now my only question is this~ What are you waiting for?

You are so excited that Christmas is over and you are so proud of yourself because you actually finished all your Christmas shopping way before the night of Christmas Eve! Well, almost all of it anyway. There was that one small detail that you hadn’t yet checked off of your list  because all you had was his name written down. You couldn’t bear to write anything next to his name because he probably already has one of whatever it is your thinking of, or he would have no use for something that you could actually afford as you remember that you are on a limited budget- even though he is not!

So whether it is Christmas, his birthday, or just some other special occasion, what exactly do you get the man who has everything? As you go down the list in your mind to remind yourself of exactly who this man is that you’re talking about, you realize that you are basically out of his league, but you still want to do something memorable and special for him! Then you remember as you go through that list that he uses his Louis Vuitton luggage when he travels, owns a plethora of Dolce & Gabana, Prada, and other designer brands of sunglasses and eyewear, he sports his Rolex watches and Cartier rings, wears custom suits made by Lou Miles himself at over $10,000.00 a piece, and if you must know he has an entire closet filled with them.

His collection of ties is substantial, his favorite shoes are made by Ferrigamo, and he has a car for each day of the week- but his favorite is his Bugatti Veyron! When he golfs, he doesn’t just have one set of clubs to choose from, but depending upon his confidence or mood from his collection of Callaway, Taylormade, or Titleist clubs, and at $50.00 a dozen for his favorite Maxfli balls, that’s pushing your budget!

You could get him a well deserved hot rock massage or relaxation treatment, but he already has a standing appointment 3 times a week in his home with his favorite masseuse. So then you move on to thinking that there are always Colognes, Cufflinks, Art, and Home Furnishings and Accessories, but we’re talking about the man who has everything. If he really wanted those things he would have already bought them himself and besides, it’s pretty generic to give him another gift that he already owns at least one of!

So what exactly do you do for the man who has everything? Well, first it depends on who he is to you. If he is your husband or boyfriend, you will obviously do something quite different than you would do for your friend or brother.

Most men no matter what they have or who they are, could always use more time in their lives. But how do you do that? You could pick a day of theirs where you run their errands for them. If they are going on a business trip you could do their last minute organizing for them. If they have an upcoming event to attend, help them coordinate every last detail before hand.

If you really want to go out on a limb, call his boss and coordinate a day off to surprise him with, and then create a homemade card or videotape telling him all about it. If you are married to him, you could use this day arranged with his boss, to have a day planned of fulfilled events for just the two of you!

I would love to recommend a voucher or gift certificate, but those often times show lack of effort and personality. You really want your heart to shine when giving the man who has everything his special gift.

If he loves wine, you could give him a membership to the wine of the month club along with a subscription for a wine connoisseur’s magazine that he would really enjoy- then print out photos of gorgeous grapes, and European Vineyards, along with bottles of his favorite wine. Then you could take the photos you’ve printed and put them into a beautiful photo collage layout that he could frame ( or you could frame for him) onto some fabulously textured paper or parchment showing him that you have taken an interest in his passion!

For those who want to be ultra romantic, schedule a sunrise or sunset hot air balloon ride with Champagne or wine and an assorted basket of fruit and goodies that he will never forget. In your basket include a camera and/or video camera, binoculars, and of course the ever fabulous specially bought and engraved wine glasses marking the date on them.

Another creative and inexpensive gift you could give might take a little guts, but remember you are giving the gift of memory and experience here so you can splurge a little more than usual! Make a videotape of yourself singing him a song that you wrote, write a poem for him, or dance a choreographed dance to his favorite music. Then upload it onto Youtube.com for him to view as often as he would like!

There is always finding out his favorite store, and speaking to the owners or management about having a private shopping hour where you take him to shop once the shop has closed so it is just the two of you! It is also possible to do that with some restaurants as well. He’ll feel as if the world has stopped just for him, and he’ll think that you can do anything!

Has he always wanted to be a star ? Then make him one for real! Buy him a star in the sky. These are inexpensive and come with certificates that you can frame to hang on the wall with their name on it! Then when you tell him he is far out, he’ll have the proof for all to see!

Maybe he has a passion for a certain cause or group that he beams with passion each and every time he speaks about it. Make a donation to his favorite movement, cause, or charity in his name!

Become the gift! Come up with a list of the most romantic things that you can think of and do. Then blind fold him until you get to the first place of your choosing. End your day with a hot bubble bath, hot oil massage, manicure and pedicure (men love to be pampered too), and feed him his favorite fresh fruit dipped in chocolate and topped with homemade whipping cream, followed by his favorite wine or champagne.

Anyone can buy a gift, but it takes thought and heart to become the gift! So you see that there are a million creative things that you can do for the man who has everything- all it takes is a little thought, effort, and creativity to appeal to his more sensitive side~ and believe it or not, no matter how macho or rugged they may be, they will melt at your thoughtfulness and kindness. And voila, you’ve just given them something that money CAN’T buy, and that is the fondness of a precious memory!

I have to tell you that after writing yesterday’s post asking the question, Who Am I? It has been heavy within my heart to share with you a piece I have written that I have called “His Reflection”. I wrote this because I was deeply searching for my purpose, and to know exactly why I was put here on this earth. What was my destiny and above all who was I? I had to know! Though what I am sharing with you today is a bit lengthy, I believe it can also be life changing! If you haven’t read yesterdays post about the question Who Am I? I think you will be truly blessed if you take the time once your finished here to read it.I have asked myself something many times throughout my life. I wanted to know why I had been through so many things that should have destroyed me either physically or for sure mentally, but yet I was still vivacious and full of passion! Despite my passion and determination for living life to the fullest, there was still a void in my heart that no matter what I did, or where I went, parts of me still remained empty and lifeless. I knew that I was given the ability to conquer anything that came my way, but the ultimate quest was to figure out what my life meant, and who I really was.

So one night I lit my room full of candles and put on my favorite song. I was blank. I couldn’t find any words when they usually are so accessible and could pour out of my heart like a flowing river of life. I scribbled some words that I couldn’t make sense of no matter how hard I wanted them to, and then without warning,the tears began to stream down my face. I was desperate to know who I was, and what it would take for me to realize what was inside of me! Then it hit me. Who I am has everything to do with the one who created me, and without Him I would never truly be able to tap into my life’s purpose and meaning.

I love God, and I have always known I was supposed to love Him. But there were pieces of me that really believed that I could do this life on my own. So as I began to write, the words flowing faster than I could legibly jot onto my notebook paper, my eyes began to see the bigger picture for my life. How my life’s meaning was already planned for me, and it would be up to me and my choices to discover each and every gift, talent, and ability that had been placed within me. And then, it all began to make sense. All of these desires, and plans, and achings in my heart for things that I wanted to do, and become were possible! It was just up to me to unlock those rooms within my heart and begin the journey that would take me through my natural lifetime.

So in that moment as I wrote the piece I am going to share with you now, I found a new hope, and a new passion that if God is willing, I will be able to touch every person I come into contact with, and if I can do nothing else, I know that I can share the passion, and the love, that is within me with others who haven’t quite found their way. In giving of my heart and my soul, I have truly found out who I am, and that has paved the way for me to take each new step forward as I journey into my destiny! Please put yourself into this piece I have called “His Reflection” and allow yourself to see through the eyes of my heart.

“His Reflection”

From the beginning

Before you were conceived

God had a special plan for you…

He wrote each day,

especially for you,

designed with joy…

As you grew in your mommy’s tummy,

He had his hand on you,

keeping you safe,

loving you

and

Counting the days until He knew you’d arrive!

He selected your parents even before they were conceived

They were hand picked to touch your heart with His…

That was God’s plan, as they were His gift to you

For you are the very best part of them!

He filled you with His love,

Creativity,

and

Imagination-

You are specifically designed,

Hand embroidered,

and tailored by His heart

To give, to love, and to teach

Though sometimes it’s hard to see His plan

it’s as intricate as when He created you-

He knit you together, hand woven with purpose

And breathed His life into you

Each one of your days are God’s gift to you

Sometimes unclear, even confusing,and painful

He knew what each day would bring…

He trusts you to open each of the gifts

that He placed on the inside of you

from the day you were born

until the day you go home to Him

He has given you so many gifts and talents-

Which will you open next?

Do you know which of His blessed gifts

You have already opened?

You are exactly where He knew you’d be…

In this day, At this time, For this moment

And

He is eagerly, yet patiently watching you… Proudly!

For you have opened gifts that He knows you will use-

For His glory

You have been broken, and reshaped with His eyes

and

His heart…

No limitations, only pure imagination!

His passion flows through you with each step you’ve taken

He has held your hand just as your baby did

As she learned how to walk-

Discovering, Exploring, Completely fascinated

By endless possibilities

Of what you will do

or where you will go

As you step… He is there

As you fall… He catches you gently

In His strong arms full of

Grace, Mercy, Love

And

Full of encouragement!

As He sets you onto your feet to take another step

Into each new step of your life

He can’t wait to see your face

as you find & open another gift

Discovering yet another piece to this puzzle of life-

Your life, and learning who you are

He will love through you,

He will use others to change you,

develop you,

and

remind you of your purpose

Did you know that you are the answer to someone’s prayer?

You have been created for such a time as this!

For as you hear His voice,

and

step out in faith

All confusion,

uncertainty,

and

fear fade away

Your path was chosen just for you

Just like your fingerprints

and

There is no one else like you in all of creation!

No one can do what you can…

Not the way you can do it!

Your faith has moved mountains,

And

Your love changes the lives of those you know…

You are a miracle…a reflection of your Heavenly Father

Who spends each moment, in each day, with you…

Creating a continuous adventure

Exploring new ideas, and new dreams

Your purpose is so great!

The question is do you know it?

Only you can do what He created you for

One step at a time

With each beat of your heart…

He opens doors for you

And holds your hand as you walk through them

Your thankfulness

and

Adoration for your Father

Are what shapes each new moment of your life…

You are the one that God knew He could trust

To reflect His image,

His love,

and His compassion

For you reflect the light of His love

to those you have met,

already know,

And

To those you will meet in the future

This is your purpose

Designed from the beginning of time,

For you to reflect your Heavenly Fathers image-

Through your life, as He shows you who you are!

If I had to ask myself what the most important question is, I would have to say it is the question, “Who am I”…When someone asks who you are, how do you respond? Do you tell them your business title, or what you do for a living? Or maybe you go into a list of interests that you have and things that you like to do. It’s a question that leaves room for reflection, but demands an answer if we are ever going to be able to know the answer and then say who we are.

Here is what I know about myself. I am a woman, a writer, an artist, a singer, and a mother, among the many selections of hats available for me to put on in any given day. I know what it is to be abused, rejected, abandoned, alone, depressed, angry, hostile, hopeless, and afraid. I also know that if I wouldn’t have ever been proactive in finding the answer to the question, that I might still be all of those things, and even have the reasons to justify remaining like that.

In order to face yourself and answer that mysterious question, you need to look within your heart to find the things about you that have been wrong. Things like wrong choices, wrong reactions, wrong thinking, and wrong expectations are all a part of the process to discovering who you are because until you can answer these things with honesty to yourself and realize where you have been wrong, you will never be able to truly find the answer you are looking for.

Quite simply, I believe that we each see ourselves according to the attributes that we have, and if asked about those certain attributes, we can go on to describe each of them with passion. We all tend to be proud of what we can do, or with what we have accomplished within our lives. I believe we develop our attributes within the various seasons that we encounter in our lives. Who I was as a child will have changed when I become an adult, and who I was as a single person will dramatically change when I get married. In the process though, we are still developing and cultivating new attributes that work to define who we are. But the underlying fact is that we are who we are no matter what season of our lives we are in. The question is do we know it or not?

As we learn and grow, learn to trust, love, and hold fast to loyalty, it is my belief that the change that happens from the inside out is indescribable. It is in those changes that we are allowed to see through our hearts eyes, and begin to define the answer to that question Who am I?

At some point within our lives, we will have the opportunity to see into the true depths of our heart and look at who we really are on the inside. Laying aside all of the hats, titles, positions, blame, past and mistakes, we will have no choice but to face ourselves head on if we ever want to discover who we are! We may be able to introduce ourselves in the pride and extravagance of who we have convinced ourselves that we are, but deep within us there is a certain nagging of the remnants of what lies buried alive within the inner depths of our soul.

Maybe it is the past murmuring of someone telling us that we will never be good enough, or making cracks at our weight, color, or abilities. It could be something as simple as what it did to us not to be given the hugs and the kisses as a child that torment our perceptions as an adult. All the while we still strive to escape those words and visions. Maybe someone abused you, or cheated on you and now you struggle to find your identity within that devastating loss. Do you still strive to be all that you have dreamed of since you were little, or do you accept a facade in the name of reality? Do you still believe, or are you guarded on every side of your heart determined that you will never be hurt like that again?

Tucked away inside of our hearts cry, is still that voice within us announcing who we really are, with the innocence of that child likeness that still believes that anything is possible, and is not guarded by the pains that have mounted against our hearts for nearly as long as we can remember. Can you hear it? That breathtaking sound of what we would hear if we were free to say who we really are! That still small voice deep within us crying out for someone to know and understand who we are without having to put on a hat for each and every circumstance we encounter throughout our lives. Are you desperate to know who you are even if nobody else ever believed in you?

The answer to this question is only found within one word. That word is Faith! See I can’t possibly tell you who I am if I don’t believe or have faith, or everything I tell you about myself will be based on a past mentality that is jaded, clouded and unable to see from the “now” vantage point. I probably won’t ever see who I am if I am still caught up in needing to be validated by everybody else’s opinion. Who I am should always be relayed in faith. You must believe and have the understanding that you were created for such a time as this, and though sometimes we think that we are not where we would like to be, thank God that we are not where we used to be!

There is so much more within me that is longing to flow out. Longing to discover each and every last talent, ability, and gift that the Lord has generously instilled within each of us! We may all be different from each other, and all have been given different abilities and talents, but the one way that we are all the same is that we all have a dream, and we all have the ability to believe and have faith! Whether we choose to embrace our faith and dreams is entirely up to us. There is nobody that we can blame for why we are where we are, and there is no way that we can stand to say that another person is at fault for our unbelief.

We each were blessed with the ability to see through the eyes of faith! God said so. If you think back, we did it as little children, and somewhere along the way our vision became clouded. It is only possible to know the answer to the question when you choose to have faith and believe, for it is only in faith that you can see yourself from a clear perspective and not with the tainted view from the past that your natural eyes look to see. If you want to see the negative, it will always be there to see, but if you want to see the good in things through the eyes of faith then you will have to do that on purpose or the chances that it will happen at all are slim to none. When you don’t remain in faith you can only see the remnants of the past and the distortions that try to make you believe that you don’t know who you are!

Whether we are male or female, black or white, abused or adored, liked or disliked, will we trust enough in our heart to reach into those depths that have been hidden for what seem to be an eternity, and see who we are in this moment, at this time, and be honest with ourselves about who we really are? It may seem painful to look inside of your heart and search for who you are, but I would rather wade through the pain to get beyond the walls of my heart that have worked to imprison me for so long, than to stay in my comfort zone and never really know who I am!

I personally have determined to live free and to know beyond a shadow of a doubt who God created me to be when he put me on this earth. I don’t want to go through my life knowing inside that there was more for me to learn, do, accomplish, and teach, but never really holding a fierce determination to be concise about that all encompassing question. Who Am I?

If I haven’t taken the time to get to know who is in the very innermost parts of my heart and soul, then how will any label or title that I give to someone about myself ever do my introduction justice? There is a confidence that exudes itself from the inner parts of our heart when we know who we are! There is nothing, and no one who can take that away from you no matter what situation you are in, regardless of your place in life, or lack of accomplishments, once you have a true understanding of who you are!

Until you know who you are you will not develop and insist upon proper boundaries in your life that will ultimately determine your failures or successes. Likewise, you will not be able to value yourself or make sound choices and decisions until you yourself know who you are deep within. It is only then, after you have learned who you really are that you will begin to see through the eyes of wisdom and discernment. Nothing will stand in the way of your faith and belief, and you will go forward with the bold determination that you will never stop reaching for your dreams.

You will determine that even if it takes you until you take your last breath, you will keep growing and moving forward never to retreat, be stagnate, depressed, or faithless again.

Having said that, I can tell you with absolute certainty that if you think you know who you are already, but deep down you might still be unclear and not know for sure, that if you will do the things that I mentioned in the previous paragraph, and will decide never to settle for less than your dream…you will find who you are and what you are made of! You can’t make a decision like that and remain the same as you are now for very long. You will either change and become the person that God designed you to be, or you will give up and go back to a lifestyle of habit and comfortability.

I challenge you to face yourself and everything that you are. That means even facing the things that you don’t share with anyone else, or the things that only you and God know to be true. Let all that is broken and hidden deep within your soul be brought to the light in God’s love, and I promise that if you only just believe, you will find the answer to the question was always right there for you to see. You just needed to look in the right place. Let your heart be your guide, and never settle for anything other than the truth. Then you will be able to say with absolute certainty, “This is who I am”!

I have realized something very life changing in my quest for seeking the truth. What truth is that? I’ve been relentlessly searching for the truth of how to be happy and discover why I was put here on this earth.  I have to say that the truth isn’t always what we want to hear or see, but it is the one thing that we most often deceive ourselves over.

Nobody likes to look at themselves in the mirror and have to face the reflection that blames them for where they are today because of the choices that only they were capable of making. Nobody held a gun to our heads or forced us to do the things that we’ve done, yet we felt pushed and even threatened that if we didn’t make those choices that ultimately we would lose something we valued in our life. Yet, we made the choices in our lives and are living today with the consequences of those choices.

Ultimately we did lose. We lost pieces of ourselves. Those pieces have left a trail along the way that seems to lead us back again and again into the very past we try to forget. Now it is up to us to gather the pieces of ourselves that have been scattered and ripped apart like tiny puzzle pieces, and begin a new journey as we search for the truth that will change our lives permanently!

As we gather the pieces that were left behind and begin to fit them all together once again, you will find that the most beautiful picture emerges from a very jagged past. It is the picture of what you looked like before you were hurt, abused, betrayed, forgotten, rejected, ignored, and controlled. It is the picture of what you looked like when you were whole, enveloped in innocence, where you were able to do anything, believe in everything, trust without reservations, and could conquer anything that stood in your way!

It may be difficult to remember how it felt to be whole and pure in that innocence because the picture you have seen of yourself from as far back as you can remember was one that was tattered and filled with an incomplete void that nothing could fill. You deserved more than you were given, but sometimes when our innocence is taken from us, all we are left with are the scars and remnants of pain to remind us of what we once were.

The haunting reminders fill our heads and our hearts that without a miracle by the hand of God we may be like this for the rest of our lives…broken, scared, unable to leave the past behind, and so afflicted in our thoughts that we develop the  inability to trust or believe. So what can we do? We can face the pains in our past, allow the truth to make us free, and begin the journey through life with a different perspective that offers hope and more than just a light at the end of the tunnel.

I’d like to share just one of the many problems that I have discovered as a truth in my life. Facing it was quite difficult for me because then it meant I had to admit that I was the major cause for why things didn’t work out many times in my life. It’s no fun to go head on against yourself, but you need to face the truth and admit to yourself how you have gotten where you are in your life if you ever expect to begin taking steps in the right direction, and not just continuing to make the same choices over and over again.

How long will it take us to stop going around the same mountain in our lives?

I discovered that I have struggled throughout my life with being too quick to bail out of something that felt uncomfortable. If it didn’t fit my idea or plan, I would run away from people or situations hoping that I would end up with something better.

I haven’t always been so impatient, but the older I got, it seemed like I have wasted a majority of my life away settling for people who would not change. They had no vision, or they had too much vision AND too much of themselves. I learned that if I wanted something and thought that it would take too long to get what I was searching for, then I would just go out on my own to find it.

What I really have done is plague my life with many “Ishmael” choices. By this, I mean that I have not been patient to wait on what God would have chosen for me. I have not waited for what His best for me would be, and I have gone out and created my own ideas and pursued things and people that He would not have ever led me to. The results are devastating and disastrous to say the least, not only for me but for my children as well.

I have learned the hard way that if you are making choices based on past hurts and fears that you will only go on to repeat the same mistakes over and over. Then we wonder why we have a totally different new situation or person in our life, and they wind up being the same as everything else who has ever hurt you in your life!

I want you to know that when you walk outside of the love and security that God gives you, fear will blind you and you will allow compromise to enter into your life. This is why it is so dangerous to ignore your convictions and do what you feel like instead. Not thinking of the consequences that follow WILL devastate your life, your future, and sometimes those we love around us.

I am here to tell you that recovery from all of your hurt and past is possible if you pick up the Bible to find what God says about you. Discover his plan for you there! He wants to heal you with His love, affection, and companionship. Most of the choices that I have made in my life were made because I did not feel like I was loved or wanted! I am going to share with you 5 of the most important things that I have learned and that have helped me to know what love really is.

 

1. Learn what love is

When you learn what love is, then you become equipped to actually begin to love someone else. However, when you make a decision to love then I will tell you that you open yourself up to being let down, being vulnerable, getting offended, or rejected. I can also tell you that if you will go back to remind yourself of what love is and how it acts even though you may experience any one of these feelings you WILL develop and maintain a different attitude. You will not take everything as a personal attack against you when you apply love to your life. Let me show you why.

 

First Corinthians 13:4-8 says: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but always rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love NEVER fails!

 

I can tell you that even in writing this to you I am convicted. I believe that we cannot possibly look at these things and not feel ashamed or know that we have fallen short of where God says that you MUST live. It is not an option to treat everyone with this respect and attitude. You may be asking the same thing that I have. How in the world am I supposed to do this?

 

Then you may think something like this-You just do not know how he/she has hurt me, or the things that they have done to me. I deserve to have more because…Well this person deserves to go through what he/she is because if you only knew what they have done. I am not going to settle for this because I could have so much more…He did not do this for me. . . She made me mad with what she said . . . How dare he not come home and then choose his friends over me…etc.

 

Do you see how in only a few examples of things that could cross your mind that these could be feelings or situations that we could be faced with at any time in our daily lives? God is not looking at what someone else has done to us; He is looking at our reactions. When you get hurt, it is a choice to stay hurt. When you get angry, blow up at someone, and use hurtful words, those are also choices that you have made.

 

 Why will we sit back and justify why we responded or reacted in the way we did, and ignore that we have just sinned, and opened a door for the enemy to walk through? The way you act and react will continuously shape your life as well as your destiny. Is it easy? Absolutely not. Please understand that it is much harder to go to someone and say I am sorry than it is to ignore them. (part 1)

 

2. Learn to do things that you don’t feel like doing

 

I have also learned that in order to please God and to be in a position to stay connected to Him that you have to do things you do not always feel like you want to do. I cannot tell you how many times that I have had to go to people and say I am sorry for things that I really did not feel like I did wrong. My flesh pulled with every ounce of strength to be right and not have to admit that I was wrong. I will to tell you though that it is very freeing to do things the way that God says to do them!

 

Even though I did not want to say I am sorry because I opened myself up to hearing the famous ‘I told you so’, I knew that in order to have peace in my own life that I would have to get right with the person and with God. When you do not have peace in your life, then you need to find out where you have been disobedient. Ask yourself where have you mistreated someone?

 

What did you do that you knew you shouldn’t have done, or what have you done wrong that you didn’t realize was wrong? Did you say something that you shouldn’t have said? If you are miserable, depressed, and sad all of the time you need to realize that it is not a condition that you need to live in!

 

3. Seek forgiveness often, and recognize sin for what it really is!

          You need to get onto your knees and ask God to forgive you and to show you where you messed up. Ask Him to show you what you did wrong. Even ask Him to show you what it is that you have failed to do. Sometimes it is our lack of effort that is a type of disobedience to the Lord. An example from my own life is when I would do something wrong, or talk to someone rudely, felt like I was better than someone else, simply didn’t keep my word, or made an excuse to better justify my actions, I would walk around absolutely miserable, sad, down in the dumps, or just plain irritated in general and I wasn’t able to figure out why.

 

 That is until I searched my heart and asked the Lord to show me why I was feeling all of those things! He is faithful and said if you seek, you will find! So being faithful like He is, I would recall in my mind the exact thing(s) where I was in disobedience, or had sinned and simply excused it because I didn’t consider it to be a big deal. All sin is a big deal! All disobedience is sin!

          All of the small things that we tend to ignore or make excuses for are all big things in the eyes of the Lord. Nothing is small in the eyes of our God. Think of it this way. There is no one sin that is bigger than another sin. All sin holds the same value in the eyes of God whether it is gossiping about another person, or murder, they are the same to the Lord.

 

All of the things we do in our lives that we look at as being tiny or insignificant are all regarded by the Lord as being extremely valuable and significant! For instance, we might not even realize that we have hurt another person by the shortness in our attitude when we are stressed or have had a tough day. God absolutely hates it when we mistreat other people irregardless of the reasons we may have to give.

 

Why do we do most of the things that we do to others? Is it because of our own hurt and pain, or could it run much deeper than that? Could it be that we have been disobedient to the Most High God, and our spirit knows that deep within us, and yet we go on denying the truth or pretend it doesn’t exist? How long will we continue to minimize the truth and be deceived by our own hands?

 

The consequences of disobedience are great! You can’t possibly experience true joy, peace, love, faith, or any of the fruits of the spirit in your life unless you are connected to the Lord through obedience to His word. In disobedience through the smallest of thing, that is sin and sin separates us immediately from the connection we desperately need in order for us to live in this life! It is like we are babies connected to God through a spiritual umbilical cord where His life flows through to us via that connection. When we sin, or disobey, our connection to God is clamped just like a garden hose that gets a crimp in it where the flow is totally stopped.

 

Nothing comes out, and if you can’t get the water to flow out of that hose, eventually all of the beautiful flowers in your garden will wither and die because they didn’t get the nourishment they needed in order to flourish and survive. We need to remove the crimp in our connection to the Lord by repenting of our sin, and seek to experience a greater conviction concerning the things that are sin and disobedience.

 

When you are in disobedience, there is nothing that you can do to make yourself feel better for more than a moment. You can mask your symptoms by shopping, eating, drugs, alcohol, moving, switching relationships, pornography, or a multitude of other “quick” fixes, but unfortunately, the heavy feelings will linger within you and make you miserable until you get on your knees or your face before God to search your heart and repent.

 

To repent means to turn away from and go the other direction from your sins and disobedient choices. It doesn’t mean that you simply say I’m sorry God and then pick up where you just left off by going out and doing it all over again. If you will let His forgiveness wash through your heart and cleanse out the sin that weighs your spirit down, you will find that you will no longer be clueless why we get moody, down in the dumps, or irritated. We can be empowered to look at ourselves first before looking outward to point the finger and judge others for why we feel the way we do.

 

There came a point in my life where there was nothing made me happy. Not shopping, not being with someone, not eating…nothing at all! I have to tell you though, each time that I took the time to get alone with God, (even if it meant that I had to slip away into the bathroom away from all of the commotion), and I asked Him what it is that I did wrong, I am telling you something huge!

 

Just as a video can be replayed in slow motion, I was recalled to what I had done in my day or even to a totally different day where I believe I made the Lord very sad with me. That thing I did would play in my mind as clearly as when it actually was happening! I would be so ashamed, and feel such pain for not even realizing or even consciously choosing to ignore what I had done. By being able to see where I was wrong, my heart actually began to soften because the Lord loves me enough to show me where I fail and then He goes so far as to forgive that sin!

 

 It’s amazing the way He loves us! That is why it is important to know who God is. Not only to know WHO He is, but to learn about His Character. You know, take the time to find out why He does what He does, and also to know what He wouldn’t and couldn’t do. Then follow after and strive to be like Him in what we do, and how we act.

 

          4. Let go of offenses and instead decide to live to forgive

 

We each have reasons that we could use to justify becoming offended or hurt with another person. I believe we should be very careful that we don’t decide to hold onto that offense without first bringing it to the Lord. I believe that we should all learn to trust the Lord more with our emotions, and not fall into the temptations that entice us to be angry, hurt, bitter or offended.

 

Those emotions and responses cause us to become separated not only from our peace and happiness, but ultimately from the Lord. So if you are depressed, sad, angry, hostile, bitter, resentful, or confused, begin with asking the Lord what it is that you did. From there He is only going to show you what you did! Even if you didn’t do anything wrong at all to someone else, but you became offended in response to their actions, He will deal with you about your response. He will never deal with you about someone else. Only about you and what you did or didn’t do!

 

Even if we have the right to be angry, or offended, we do not have the right to stay that way and to carry the pain that was meant for our Lord to carry for us! If you will stop yourself when you feel down and go to the Lord in prayer to seek Him about why you are feeling the way you are, I assure you that not only will you begin to let go of all of the things that try to make you mad, sad, angry, hurt, offended, rude, and so on…you will be able to recognize actions and attitudes that need to be changed within yourself.

 

Each time I have taken responsibility before the Lord for my own actions, it is amazing how the love of God floods my heart. Then I am actually able to forgive the person that I was holding something against, and I am filled with joy and peace once again. My connection to the Lord is in an instant restored by my recognizing where I was wrong and by being accountable to Him for my own actions.  God said that our sins will not be forgiven if we don’t forgive those who have wronged us!

 

So it is imperative to know and understand the importance that forgiveness plays in our lives! When we withhold forgiveness from another person it is like saying that we are even more powerful than God! Why? Because even God Himself does not withhold forgiveness even when He has all the right to! After all, He is God and can do what He wants right? But He doesn’t do that and neither should we!

 

I don’t know about you, but I certainly don’t want to be responsible for classifying myself as God’s equal by refusing to forgive someone who has wronged me! Not only can your sins not be forgiven if you won’t forgive, but you will damn yourself straight to hell and believe the whole way there that you were right! Very dangerous!

 

It’s better to just obey the Lord when He says to forgive and not allow it to become a foothold that the devil can use to walk into your life later on. We are actually commanded by Jesus Himself to forgive each person 70 times 7 in a single day! That is 490 times that we are supposed to forgive another person every day that they do wrong against us! When we refuse to forgive them we are simply refusing to obey the Lord. That is sin!

 

          5. Let forgiveness lead the way to change

 

The first time I really took notice that God was changing things about me, I was astounded that I had been so blind to the destructive things that were alive inside of me. How was it possible that I was just now being able to see these things about myself, and I was blind as a bat to them only a short time ago? I believe the answer is found in forgiveness.

 

I began to purposely seek those I had things against so that I could forgive them for what I felt they had done to me. Then I did something that I never realized was so necessary for my own survival! I began to search my own life and heart to see where I was holding unforgiveness against my own self! That’s right, not only did I blame myself for a multitude of mistakes that I had made throughout my life, but I was refusing to let go of it all and lay it at the cross where Jesus died to take all of my sins and shame.

 

I was bound by unforgiveness as if I were already locked within a prison cell. The heart that I was supposed to be free within was keeping me hostage and prisoner. And the sickest part about it was that I knew that I needed to forgive if I ever wanted to be free and see real change in my life. I just never realized that by not forgiving myself I would never truly be free.

 

So I began to take notice of my life in a way that I never had before. I didn’t want anything to be hidden or buried so that I couldn’t see it and get rid it. If it didn’t please God then it didn’t belong there.

 

 

I began to see certain things that I did to other people when I would act a particular way to someone and it began to repulse me inside. My attitude was very ugly and I verged upon being critical. I was short with people, and treated them as though they were the reason and blame for all of my problems.

 

I had a problem with my temper, and wasn’t ashamed to let people know what I felt. I actually believed that if something took to long that it was the other person’s fault and in all of my pride I actually believed that I could have done a better job than they were doing!

 

Among everything else that was wrong with me, something miraculous began to happen inside of me. At first, I found myself catching the things I was doing wrong, but it wasn’t until right after I would do it. Then I would get frustrated with myself because I knew better and still did it anyway. I began to hate my behaviors, but I felt helpless to stop.

 

Whatever it is, when God begins to deal with you and do surgery on the inside of your heart, it almost seems like you will do that particular thing even more than before! I got to the point where I hated what I was doing so much that I’d have to get on my face before Him…literally, and find myself pleading with Him to get the pride out of my heart, and help me not to talk rudely or have a negative attitude toward someone else etc.

 

You will get to a point in your life where you are so sick of not doing what you know you are supposed to do, and having habits that you cannot conquer or change without God that you will have no choice except to submit to what He wants if you ever want real change in your life! It is not easy, and it is a lot of work sometimes, but I can tell you that from my own life and experience that it is much harder to live in everyday of your life sad, miserable, angry and depressed than to begin to search your own heart and get it right with God.  Let forgiveness open the door to your heart and lead the way to permanent change in your life!

How would you like to wake up every morning with the drive, passion, and determination to conquer everything that stood between you and ultimate success? Can you see yourself defeating every problem, completing every test, resolving every conflict that comes your way within any given moment? Have you forgotten how to dream? What if you knew this passion would give you everything you needed to achieve every dream and goal in this life? How would you go about your life then?

Passion is given to all! It is not reserved for some and not given to others! Passion does not discriminate! The absolute truth is that passion is for everyone, but only some will take the necessary steps to ignite that passion and cause it to soar within their hearts!

Where is the passion that we crave, that burning, unquenchable desire that drives us so completely that we know deep within ourselves that we could conquer the world with it?

Our true passion is founded and derived deeply within something that we can not see, touch, feel, or use any of our senses to hold onto. Our true passion is conjoined with something called faith, and without faith, we become devoid of the very passion that we seek! Faith always believes, regardless of what it sees in the circumstances presented to us!

Passion is a boundless enthusiasm, and is a force we can only tap into by believing in something with all that we are. As a reward of having such faith and belief, your passion becomes sparked and then ignites into a raging inferno!

Passion is absolutely vital to our existence for it is out of passion that we were created! But, how many times do we feel overwhelmed in our lives and find ourselves at the brink of giving up only to realize that if we give up now, we may miss the very miracle that we so desperately need in our lives? That miracle is passion!

Whether it is passion for your relationship, family, career, dreams, goals, teaching, building, traveling, art, sports, or any of the other vast array of subjects we could be passionate over, you need to make a decision that you will believe in something that is important to you. Then no matter what comes, make all of your dreams come true through the power of that passion within you. Live fearless, and face fear with the presence of your audacious faith! Release the passion from within you!

Passion is contingent upon how willing you are to believe and have faith in who you are, what you do, how you live, and how you see others. Passion will sometimes feel like it left just as quickly as it came because it is a fire that burns bright within each of us. If you don’t work to keep the flame lit by feeding the fire within your heart and soul, then it will diminish or go out entirely! Apart from passion, we fade, become depressed, and our faith becomes atrophied, withering away to the depths of despair and hopelessness.

There are a few key steps for igniting passion into our lives, and if you don’t do them “On Purpose” every day, your fire won’t continue to rage on. Once you’ve had a taste of passion in your life, you’ll recognize almost immediately if the fire is beginning to diminish or is at risk of going out! Then wake yourself up and do whatever it takes to fan the flame and keep the fire burning brightly!

Step 1: BELIEVE in whatever you do with your whole heart, and VISUALIZE yourself doing it in your mind! This will help you to persevere when things get tough. If you can see yourself doing something with your mind, it won’t be awkward or uncomfortable when you get where you are going! If you can see it, you can BE it!

Step 2: Have a clearly articulated vision! Remind yourself and others what you are working toward. You may have started working at an entry level position, but you see yourself as president of the company! Write down what you want in your life and what it is going to take for you to get there! Have a clear plan. Remember that vision attracts vision and dream attracts dream…know what you want so that others can help you to get there!

Step 3: Change the way you think and speak! Keep your thoughts and words positive and don’t let the negative thoughts in NO MATTER WHAT other people will say about your efforts or your vision. It is a battle to keep your mind clear of all of the negative things that present themselves to your mind, so train yourself to reject the negative and only embrace the positive. Catch the negative things that you are thinking before they get to your lips and you speak them out! Words are containers filled with power. Say something long enough and you will believe that and those things that you believe will come to pass in your life! Then watch your life begin to transform right before your very eyes!

Step 4: Have Audacious Goals! Your level of ability will only grow to the size of your dreams! Dream bigger than yourself and don’t let what you see with your eyes affect your faith and how you believe in what it is that you are going after! Audacious goals will take Audacious faith! Always remind yourself that you can do it, and then get ready, get set, and go…never to look back!

Above all, live in this moment at this time of your life with all that passion is! Ignite that fire within you, and make it your mantra that you will live today and every new day that you are blessed with passionately! Passion leads the way to destiny, and destiny is where our life’s purpose and meaning are completely fulfilled.

Each moment of our life is filled with steps that we have taken in the direction toward our destiny, or the steps that have led us away from it instead. Now is the time to change your shoes, and make certain that you are ready to lead the way in this journey through life!

You’re journey will lead you to the ultimate destination, but first you will need to know who you are and allow your passion to ignite, as you fan the flame within your heart and soul. I encourage you to be confident, follow the simple steps above, stand firm in your faith, and walk forward with passion into your destiny. Your destiny has been patiently waiting for you, so ask yourself now…What are you waiting for?